Musings from the Ozone

Busy Day in Shanghai 

With this odd title, and my use of the ubiquitous words like 'wedding' or 'China, ' I feel at liberty to make this blog fit my wide range of thoughts today. I am most definitely blogging in regards to my last week's visit to China, but other than that, it may take leaps and bounds down many avenues of thought. In other words, I do not actually feel tied down to a particular subject such as wedding, nor the country of China!

That being said, I will try to explain why I used those two words (wedding/China) in the first place. Last week, I made a huge trip to Shanghai, China, and then on to Hangzhou, China, 112 miles to the south, just to attend the wedding of my son who lives in China. My son is 43 years old, and this was his second marriage; from the looks of it, it will be a highly successful marriage. In spite of the 1001 differences in culture, my son and new daughter-in-law have much in common. They both work for Microsoft, and have computer-like brains. To hear them talk together, something will tell you quickly that they speak another language, in addition to their native tongues. It is dubbed "Computerese," and most computer experts know the language well. Surely, you would expect me to know that language myself, should I try to explain that language to you. I am not a computer programmer, which they both are, and do not have a even a basic understanding of their job requirements, so we will leave that language to them.

Our arrival in China was non-eventful. Other than sore backsides from sitting erect for 18 hours, we were never-the-less ready for a very exciting week. Exciting it was!  I am going to post my letters home, so you will get to read my first-hand observations:

My first letter home reads:

Well, we are here in Shanghai!  It is bright and sunny today!  It is just beautiful, really, and about 5:25 in the afternoon. That means you are all asleep in your beds. I am at my son's apartment and he has everything you could want…that is, in the line of computer stuff. I am looking at two huge monitors connected in almost a wrap around position. You can move your pages anywhere that you like. It was a good feeling to get on the Internet here and even bring up Facebook. I tried getting onto the Internet in the motel, but they had put a firewall on lots of American stuff. Jonathon goes through Microsoft for everything, so he is not tied down like that.

We were nearly exhausted when we got to the airport, but before we could disembark from the plane, a medical team came on the plane to screen passengers for the swine flu!  They looked ridiculous...white suits, head gear, etc., and they took a half hour or more to check all the passengers. After that, we went to immigration, where we had another long wait, but finally met up with my son. He had been anxiously waiting for 2 hours at the airport!  We had a long walk to the subway and then tried to put all our suitcases in the subway train.  It was really a joke, but we finally managed it!  We had 2 large suitcases, and one small one between us. My son had to hunt for the spaces to store them!  Next, after a long subway ride, we had to get a taxi and finally when we got to the hotel, we discovered it was a 3 floor walk up!  We almost fell on the beds...exhausted!  My poor son was more than worn out, as he carried our suitcases up those 3 flights of stairs!

Well, like I said, I am at my son's apartment now.  It is brand new!  He bought it and it was nothing but a shell, for that is how they do things over here.  He had to hire a contractor to put in everything.  He found a contractor from Hong Kong and he the man did a really nice job. 

We went to see two main parts of the town.  I wanted to see the last and biggest part of town, as it was also the best section, but it was just too much, after also going to two museums today. The first museum we went to was called the Shanghai Urban Planning Museum. It had a huge model of the city with exact buildings in miniature all laid out to scale. My son pointed out a new building that was on the model scale, but not built yet. It will be one huge skyscraper in the Pudong area. The next museum was very beautiful too; it housed ancient pottery from as far back as 3500 years BC! I could have shopped a little more than we did. We ended up shopping at the museum shop!

Everything is pretty exciting here!  It is the big city stuff of course, but my son is starting to learn the culture, and he said, he has lost that enamored feeling for China that he had in the beginning.  He has, amazingly, learned about 700 characters, and enough of the language to tell the taxi driver where he wants to go. He taught me a couple of characters. He says you have to put characters together in a strange setup, because the verb is operated differently than in English and they use the articles, such as 'the,' attached onto words differently each time you use a word. They also don't use feminine and masculine pronouns. I guess we are all just "its' to them.

My poor daughter, who traveled with me, seems to be suffering from a bit of jet lag. She has another hour difference than I do being from St. Louis. I didn't even have to set my watch, as it is the same time in New York. (just 12 hours later) Well, they are both taking naps, as I write.

Traffic here is horrendous! I had to watch (fearfully) because a couple of times, it felt like we were going to be sideswiped! I have to hand it to the taxi drivers though, because they are excellent weavers in and out of the traffic!  I should be used to that by now, as we live in NY, but I don't think we take such chances as they do here!

I am trying to not listen to some of the negative things my son says, because as I said, he has become a bit jaded of the Chinese society. Much of his frustration has to do with his new in-laws. They seem unbelievable to us, but actually, it is the way, of the Chinese parents. The Chinese children  obey their children even into old age!  The parents are a nervous lot and when the government allows them just one child, they really pour all of themselves into that one kid. They pressure the kids very hard, as far as academics go, but on the other hand they baby and spoil their child in other ways. My son's fiance has never had to cook or even clean house; her mother does it all. The parents expected so much out of her as far as earning a degree and finding a good job goes; and amazingly she has lived up to it.

The inlaws-to-be-have criticized my son from the first day they met him, and it is truly foreign to us, why they would do so!  Here are some of their gripes: they think he is a spend thrift for using cabs or having a maid. Never mind that having a maid has made his life more comfortable when he has to work long hard days and desires to come home to a clean house. They are also suspicious when it comes to purchasing things; they think the next person is out to take advantage of them, so they bargain for the cheapest price they can get, rather than consider quality first. They bickered with my son so much over the fact that he hired a man from Hong Kong to do the work on his apartment.  It was as if my son had done a racial injustice to them by hiring someone who wasn't Chinese!  He has to hide many of his purchases from the parents, because they have no sense of privacy and check out everything in his house when they come here (quite often) to visit!  My son makes more money in a couple of months than they make all year long, yet they expect him to scrimp and scrape just like they do. They thought it was almost obscene when he occasionally paid for lunches of his co-workers, who were poor and needed a little help at times. They had total control over all the guests who came to the wedding, and although my son paid the bills for their relatives to stay in hotels, they chose the hotels. The only real control my son seemed to have about the wedding itself, was that he forbade liquor to be served at the reception,  he demanded that they cut out all the references to Buddha, and made them cover up the huge Buddha, in the room, with curtains!  The rest of the constant traditions that had to be dealt with, actually seemed to be made up at the last moment. The traditions seemed to be scripted, but in truth, even the bride didn't understand why they had to be done. She is a more of a modern girl, but no socialite in the least.

Well, the kids have awakened from their naps, so I guess I will close down this Chinese epistle. Did I mention I was so glad I am an American? Talk about kissing the ground, when I get home!  I love our freedom! They have no real concept of what it means over here; at least not in the same sense that we do, anyway.

Day 2

(I will continue with my diary-letter here)

It is about 5:30 PM and we just woke up from a nap. We had a very busy day getting here to Hangzhou,
China. It is approximately 112 miles and we came by train. I learned, that at one time this was the capital of China, until they moved it to Shanghai. In our efforts to get to Hangzhou, I truly appreciate our transportation system in the states much more now! E ven though my daughter and I cut our suitcases down to one combined case, for the trip to Hangzhou, it is a big one. My son, who had to bring a lot of stuff for the wedding, had another big suitcase. We had to haul the things in a taxi that could barely hold 3 people, let alone 2 huge suitcases and one overnight bag! They are just not used to people having so much paraphernalia, I guess. We took that taxi to the train station for the train that leads out to the country.  Monday we had ridden on the neat rail train that had magnetic suspension or whatever they call it.  It sort of rides on air, and was the smoothest train that ever was made. I think it is the only one, or the longest in the world; not sure what he told me now, but it was neat. Let me interject here the admission that my son tells me so many things, I should just write it down right away, so I will have a more accurate word for things, but when a whole day passes before I write a letter, it is difficult to remember some of the facts correctly! Today we had to take a regular train, that is, a regular OLD train that was full of people. Our tickets cost $6 a piece because we sat in the more 'elite' section, at my son's request.  Well, that was a daring move and the new in-laws to be, nearly had a hissy fit! They just thought that was way too expensive.  Well, so glad Jonathon is winning some of the little battles along with the big ones. He said he has to give on some of the little battles, but when it comes to making me comfortable, he was going to override their wishes every time! The station itself was very modern and almost pretty in a functional way.  Nowadays the Chinese are into modern looking stuff, and totally functional. So far everything we have seen is mostly contemporary or modern design. By the way, the elite section was nothing special at all! Very plain....but most of the people were a little more orderly, and may have had a little more money to be able to pay $6.

This hotel is a step up from the other one. We will stay here 3 nights, then head back to the miserable old 2 star walk-up hotel.  Jonathon has had to pay for most everything, and he has even had to fight for this type of hotel!  This one is classy and yet it wouldn't pass as the most beautiful one you have ever seen.  Just pleasant and accommodating. I do like the sort of Japanese style bathroom, with the bowl sitting on a counter, and a stainless steel faucet!  The other hotel wasn't actually miserable, other than the walking 3 flights of stairs to reach it; it was very clean and nice.  I learned that when they lack a bottle of water in the room, it is another sign of being a 2 star hotel! They always put bottles of water in the nicer hotels. Having no elevator also meant it was a lower quality hotel. The beds were really nice though and the room was light and airy. The fact that we were exhausted, meant that the nice beds felt like a luxury to our tired bods.

My son had warned me that the 'folks' would stare at us a lot, as it isn't a taboo to do so in China, and they would probably talk even derogatorily about us to each other. Seems that the Chinese feel they are superior to every race under the sun, and every government too. I wanted to remain innocent about them and think that they were trying to be nice. I guess that is very naïve though! The average Chinese person is mostly concerned with themselves and family. They do not see other people as individuals, as we do in the states. Even though the Chinese family, and now my son's relatives of the future, talked about us a lot in the van and sized us up, they also grinned a lot at is and made a token gesture of showing us the Catholic church of Hangzhou. It was really was gorgeous church edifice and just huge! They stopped in front of it and let me out to take a picture. My son's fiancé said her aunt went to that church.  She said, " I think she believes it, I think!"  It was so funny.

My son has pleasantly surprised me with somewhat of a grip on the language. I learned a phrase that will serve me the rest of the trip; "Waw bu ming bu" which means I don't understand! My daughter learned a phrase before she came (which isn't helping her one bit) "where can I get some coffee!" She doesn't drink coffee, but they finally taught her how to say water, so she just substituted water for coffee. We also learned that Hangzhou has it's own native language, although they also are used to Mandarin Chinese, as it is the official language. It is just that the phrases I may learn in Hangzhou, may or may not help me in Shanghai!

There is one thing here that is common with our own New York City, (only worse) and that is the noise. After her uncle picked us up from the train station in his SUV,which surprisingly wasnearly new and spotlessly clean, we noticed that he started honking at everyone on the road! It seems crazy, and one would say that they drive with their horns! They honk at every corner and at anyone they are going to pass. They honk so that people will be aware of them, and won't cross the street in front of them! We laid down to take naps later in the day, and I am really thrilled that I remembered to bring my earplugs!

My poor son is in another room, or actually a bridal suite. He should have the privacy of his own room, to rest or relax, but no, the in-laws are giving him their constant "attention." The father-in-law, who has heart trouble and is only 57 years old, has stretched out on the sofa in my son's room, sleeping. The mother has been fussing around all day with her daughter, worrying about every tiny detail, and all her fussing has driven the bride nearly to distraction. The bride is a 'nerd' according to my son, and he says that affectionately. He means that she is not into the social scene at all, rather, she is a computer and electronics whiz, and she really resents all the hype and fuss.  Still, the daughter is a Chinese daughter, and she must bow and placate (obey) her parents in all things. Even so, the mother is a very strong take charge kind of woman. She is a doctor, so she is very sharp and smart, but by American standards she really, really overdoes the worrying. She (the mother) was very hungry after not eating all day, so my son tried to help her out. He came over here to get some snacks off of us; applesauce, muffins, etc., but when he took it over to her, she didn't even eat any of it, as she worried that we might not have enough food for ourselves! My son decided to just walk outside and around a bit, to give them time to do what they are going to do to his room! Actually, they are going to decorate the room! It will be just tacky decorations, from our point of view, but they put stuffed animals and balloons on the bed, the wedding symbol up on walls and mirrors. What's worse, is that after the wedding, someone is supposed to go to the room for 'hazing.'  It has him petrified what they will do. I guess they make him do all sorts of dumb stuff to his new bride. He told them he was definitely not into that!

Well, thankfully, I am in my own quiet room with my daughter. S he is fast asleep, and has been sleeping her head off in the day time. She really has been having a hard time adjusting to the change of hours. I haven't had much trouble, but then I never am on much of a schedule like she is. I can stay up very late home, if I wish, and then I am able to sleep in, if I desire. It has helped to be off schedule like that, because I am able to grab a cat nap anywhere. The Chinese are noisy people though, and talk loudly on trains and planes. Today some young woman stood in the middle of the aisle on the train and talked non-stop, selling stupid little toys and gadgets. People actually bought stuff from her. I was wishing she would please shut up and going away! Why she stopped right in front of we 3 Americans was beyond me. I turned my IPod up as loud as possible, trying to drown her out!

I felt really fortunate this morning that my son found me a good cup of coffee while we waited in the major train station. He also bought me a little can of that Vienna coffee, to the tune of about 11 dollars a can! I did so appreciate that, even if his in-laws would have flipped out from the expense. They wouldn't have noticed that you can get 18 cups out of the can and that it would last me a week? They would think of it in terms of 100's of little meals they could have had with the money. They have shocked my son time and time again with their lifestyle. Her mother actually catches real snakes and cooks them! She smiles, and points to the snakes in her bucket, as "fresh!' That is another thing; the Chinese love their food to be fresh! Well, that is after it is cooked! Oh yes, they changed the wedding menu from Puffer fish to turtle soup. When they told my son that they were serving puffer fish, and it is a poisonous fish, he was very nervous about that. The translation also got lost somewhere, because they first said that it was the first time it had been served in Hangzhou. My son was saying, "Oh, would you like to think that you were in an airplane and the pilot had never flown before?" Then they explained, "no, it wasn't the first time it was served in Hangzhou, it was only the first time they had served it in that restaurant." Evidently, there was a real magical trick in taking the poison out of the fish before cooking it, but I am glad we wouldn't be exposed to it!

Oh my. I am a little travel weary today, but at least we have been allowed to stay in this room for the afternoon. We might go out somewhere tonight to a restaurant, but it is already 6 PM, so I have my doubts about that. We have a electric water teapot, and they are great. My son brought us Rami noodles, and we have plenty of tea and junk food, so we will be fine, if he can't find a suitable restaurant. This is a huge city, and much older than Shanghai, so it is very built up. Shanghai has been built up mostly within the last 15 years! It is not as pretty as this city either. Hangzhou has a more lived in look, but the buildings are just one on top of the other and huge. It reminds one so much of New York City!

I am so glad that we have the Internet here, too. China has free Wi-Fi service all over the country. That is a step ahead of us in the USA! My son also has been so thoughtful of us; he says it means so much to him that we have traveled so far to be here for him. He said it made everything work out so much smoother for him that we are here.I guess he means that the in-laws now understand that he has a real family back in the USA. It must have been very brave on their part to allow him to marry their daughter when they knew so little about all of us? Well, their daughter came to NYC twice to see us, and they took pictures back to show the little Chinese family; still, they really had reservations about her marriage to a foreigner! I say it kindly, but they are so ignorant about the world outside of their little world; they are smart but in a ignorant kind of way? They are very proud about themselves, because after all, they have a thousand years of culture here. Actually, I have found that there isn't much continuity in the cultures throughout China. They speak Hangzhou in this area and luckily, for us the bride to be speaks it also.(She speaks 2 or 3 dialects, along with English.) She has been the main interpreter with all of the family besieging her with questions. There are many other dialects in the total country, and they are not that familiar with each other. It appears that Mao succeeded in making Mandarin the national language, and it has helped to solidify the many provinces of China

Day 3 Wedding Day!

My son and fiancé come here at noon to receive a little packet of money from us. Normally, we would put our gift in there, but Jonathon wouldn't take any money from me for his wedding. He said I had put out enough just getting here...which we did! We have to be dressed up when he comes, they take pictures of us, and then we can come back and change into something casual for a few hours until the wedding at 6 PM. The wedding will be down the street at a huge ballroom. The place looks like Radio City Hall from the outside! I guess the wedding ceremony will be very different from what we are used to. There will be a small ceremony with everyone seated at tables and there will be only family and very close friends. I think she said there will be about 83 guests. They will have a huge dinner of many courses, then the bride and groom will walk between the tables, do some traditional sayings and have some pronouncements made to them. I don't know actually what all will happen. He just told me a little bit about it, but it is a bit of mumble jumble to him, too. How can you expect him to understand all the Chinese explanations?

Right now I am hearing snake charming music outside our window. Some sounds we understand but now and then there will be a different kind of weird music. When you call on the phone, as I have to do sometimes to reach my son, little tune is played until the party picks up the phone. I like that sort of stuff! A while ago there were some fireworks going on and on and on. I shut the window and it stopped. Very ironic. Well, it is 10 am. I have to dress in my wedding outfit, and then I think we come back and get into comfortable clothes for a few hours. I might go back to sleep! They are walking around the park, taking pictures. I am not sure what to do, other than rest a while.

LATER:

Well, as soon as I got dressed, an aunt and uncle of the bride came to the room and took us over to the bridal suite. It was decorated a little worse than I imagined. There were balloons, stuffed animals on the bed, wedding symbols all over the place; it was very tacky from my point of view. The aunt and uncle had a hard time trying to make us understand what they wanted from us, but through motions, we finally understood that they wanted to take pictures of us. They took pictures of my daughter and me in different places, in front of the wedding bed, on the sofa, beside and under the wedding symbol, always. Then they sent my daughter backto our room. She thought she was done with the picture taking and changed into something more comfortable. Then the bride and groom came into the bridal suite; the bride gave me tea and called me 'mama.' It was all a ritual to them, of course, so they told me I had to say something sweet back to her, like "sweet wishes," well, what could I say, other than I wished them the very best wishes. In my heart, I was thinking I was very sure that my son would give her a much better life than any she could have had if she had married a native! His newly built apartment is more than her parents have, or ever could have! As I looked around, there must have been at least 15 people standing around in the suite. Many were there with cameras.

The pomp and circumstance continued. I had to sit on the bed with them and have our pictures taken.That seemed really crazy! Then my daughter had to sit there too. She was mad, because she had changed out of her wedding garb and felt she was in too casual clothes for formal pictures. She still looked dressier than most of them, in her pretty dress.

After that, they all swept out the door together to go take pictures in the hills around Hangzhou, but I decided to stay in my room. It is cool in here, while outside is hot and remember, no one speaks English. Well, one girl, a friend of the bride, has been to the states, and speaks pretty good English. I latched on to her to interpret for me. She grinned a lot (they all do) and I know she was missing some of my conversation, even though I tried to talk slowly. They are all about saving face over here and putting on a facade. It is okay, because I am more tolerant of that kind of behavior than is my son. He just cannot stand the 'show' and fake everything, over here. I am an "eye' person, and am captivated by what I see a lot of the time. I just wish these Chinese would please enjoy themselves, but they are extremely nervous people, time conscious, and seem to rush pell mell from one activity to another. They feel they have to keep up traditions, although none of them honor the very same ones? That is the wordfrom the bride. She says she doesn't know why they do this, and why they do that, but they just keep pushing at her to do them! She has worried herself over every little thing, trying to please her mother, but this mother is just relentless with her lists of things to do! My son has kept acting a little giddy and saying nutty stuff to me all the time! He isn't normally a comic, but today, I would have to say, he has acted the part of a comedian just to get through the day. Nothing seems spiritual, dignified nor thought provoking such as the religious and serious ceremonies we have at home? Instead, it feels more like a list of things to be done, and someone is standing there with pencil in hand, checking each item off as it get completed! The only romance I have felt so far is the love that is shown between bride and groom. One senses that they are ready to fly the coop as soon as they possibly can to get away from it all.

At this point, I will say that I am not thinking of whether I have actually made any faux pas or not. In fact, my daughter and I have sort of made up our minds that we don't really care what they think of us. We have our own opinions about them, too. Now, of course, we are as mannerly as we know how to be, and we are trying to be as cooperative with their little programs as possible. It truly feels like we are very calm in the midst of a bunch of wiggle worms, or maybe like people sitting down in the middle of an aerobics class. They are moving all the time! It is also so scripted out for us, there is nothing much we could do that would be out of the ordinary, well, their ordinary, that is. So far, they seem very nice to us. I do not feel rattled in the least. As far as preparations, I am much better dressed than any of them and they shouldn't feel ashamed of me in any way. The most beautifully dressed person in the room is the bride and she has just rented her clothes! My son had a new tailored suit and tux shirt and tie, so he looks pretty spiffy. He was hot and tired at 1 PM...so he is going to look pretty crumpled after taking pictures out in the hot sun, in his tux, and by the time he finally gets to the actual wedding. I think they will change into the second set of clothes during the wedding. The bride is in white now, and then changes into a red dress? They are really positive that red is a color of success, promise, best wishes and all the hope for a beautiful marriage. So be it.

The Wedding

Tonight was an experience that I am sure I can't even explain to anyone, so I will just try to tell it in story form. The wedding started around 6:30 PM. My daughter and I, for reasons, I do not understand, had been seated much earlier. Actually, we had been seated for an hour and a half before the wedding started! We had no choice in the matter either. They just came to the room and told us it was time to go! I would have been frustrated, but at least we were seated at a dinner table and there would be hor'derves for us to eat. Finally, the guests arrived and were seated at the round tables. As is custom in China, most round tables have lazy Susan's built into the middle of the table and the guests can serve themselves from the bowls placed on the contraption. Suddenly, the very strange food began to arrive. I was brave and tasted most of it, albeit in small portions. I can't tell you exactly what I ate, but I did love the lobster dish. My daughter and I were happy to have silverware. They felt sorry for us, I guess, or my son arranged to have forks and knives for us. I was most grateful for that, as it helped me not spill food all over myself.

1. Let's see...duck head, turtle soup, which I didn't want to try, after I saw a striated turtle leg in there. I tried some lotus and other little rolled up concoctions with raw vegetables cut up fine inside of it. I soon tired of the hor'derves though; how much cucumber can one stand? Second round was a bit heavier fare, and then came the hot food. By then, we couldn't stand to taste anything else. Believe it or not, we didn't even have rice! We had some little crab cakes on tiny, clear gel-like angel hair, all served on a real shell. Pretty....and fairly tasty.

It was a Chinese-y wedding. What else can I say? It was reminiscent of a Chinese restaurant; the big ones in the states, but there was also a sense of going over the top in some areas. They had bubbles, confetti guns, bride and groom had to take out 2 little fish from side bowls, put them into a big main bowl, poured beer into tall things that looked like big candle holders, but were actually cascading water falls. They had to give toasts to my daughter and me, and on and on the rituals went. Pictures are going to be coming out our noses, as there were so many cameras clicking. Jonathon said the professionals will air brush every picture, too. Seems there is something too "real" about the normal face, and they want it to look perfect? It also seems they have more of an idealistic view of how a person should really look, and they really stay true to the reputation for fake that they hold ! Too bad, they can't make someone look really thin?

They had someone to translate the vows (translate, or murder their speech in a kind of English) and then they exchanged rings (fake rings, as the parents were afraid someone would steal the real ones) and then the couple kissed many times!Now, it is late, but my poor son said there was a crowd in his room so he came over here. His new in-laws were supposed to bring the real rings to them tonight. What else was strange? The table hopping was pretty ridiculous too. The poor bride and groom had to go around toasting everyone, having barely a moment to eat their own food. My son was just here telling me he wished everyone would just go home, and get out of their room! I should say, I know he was so very thankful that the 'hazing' thing, whatever it was, was ruled out by his in-laws! Believe it or not, they understood it, when their daughter told them it just couldn't be done! Finally, she got some back bone, or just related what her new husband was feeling!

The entertainment was so weird too, that I was nearly ready to bolt the place after just a bit of it.

The wedding organizer made my son very uncomfortable. He was loud, had the microphones so loud, that the young people at our table actually stuck their fingers in their ears! Now, that really looked funny! Still, it went on full blast for quite a while, before someone finally got the message over to him: turn it down!!!

One act that was just the worst act of the night, was a woman who stood on her head, and sang a song.

A long song, too! Her voice was atrocious and loud, but still she groaned on and on. I sound rather critical here, I know, but when you see a woman, with her legs up in the air, in black tights, doing splits and weird movements, performing for a long while, it is either disgusting, or revolting, whichever word fits you best. I was more than glad to see her come off her elephant stand! Are Chinese weddings supposed to be of the circus variety of entertainment?

Suddenly, my son asked for his sister to sing! Everyone began clapping! Up she went and sang in her usual spirit- filled way. Immediately, a hush came over the wedding guests, and it was almost a feeling of awe or was it disbelief in what they were hearing? Things really calmed down, the atmosphere distinctively changed and then the people started clapping and clapping. She had to sing another song for them!

Noticeably, no one else wanted to sing after she got through. My son was so thrilled, because he was tired of the jagged tension and feeling in the room before she sang. For him, his sister was the crowning glory, calling a halt to the nonsense and break the party up! He said the event would have gone on and on, in spite of the fact that the singers weren't that good. So, the wedding party broke up very quickly after that! He said he had calculated that no one would follow her in song, and he also calculated that it would close the party business down! Church music can calm a tired soul, even if they are not aware of the spiritual aspect.

Well, I am exceedingly sleepy right now.My daughter has crashed already, with her eye mask onand earplugs in. I was going to bed, but my son has been in our room 3 times already. The uncle wanted him to download pictures off of his camera card, then, after that was done, my son had unknowingly erased the card and had to come back to the room to put the pictures back on the card.The new little bride came over with some white tea for me. I have heard that white tea is the best of all teas, so when I mentioned it, her parents went out and bought me some. They tell me that there is a method to their madness, and much of that kind of giving is done with reciprocation in mind. Well, I chose to ignore that thought and enjoy my nice gift of tea! It will all be over too-soon....Chinese, for over too soon.

Day 4 Day after wedding-

What is so amazing is that we aren't really sure what that day will hold, over here. Not, that I know much more about my day in NY, but at least it is more predictable! Aftera wedding that had a tinge of the bizarre, and the food that had totally foreign and even a bit weird, I guess I am getting used to 'new stuff!' I also guess I am more or less ready for another wild day! There is one wonderful consolation in all of this. I see the looks that my son and his new bride exchange, and they are very loving and respectful to each other. She has a certain coyness, that is both cute and refreshing; he shows the kind of leadership that earned him a good career in Microsoft, and it is very natural with him. He has absolutely thought of everything, from getting us snacks in our room, calling my daughter and I often to check on us, arranging transportation, and the like. We haven't felt left out orforgotten at all, considering how you can feel that way at some weddings. They even thought to put a person on each side of my daughter and I at the wedding, who could translate things for us, and speak with us in English! That was much appreciated.

Although my son has a tremendous income, and can afford his lifestyle, it is so funny (or sad, whichever way you look at it) to see him have to sneak here to my room to eat a candy bar, just to get away from the possible criticism from his in-laws, over such a frivolous purchase! He also had bought a watermelon, and had to rush it over here to our room. He would rather sneak in the little luxuries to our room, than to be subject to their 'tsk-tsk' attitudes toward his extravaganzas. I told him he must be himself, andignore their protests now. He has never been abig time spender? He said, "in time, mother, in time."

The lives of their forefathers, Confucianism, Buddhism, Mao, and all the rest of the influences, have stamped a sort of weird identification on the Chinese and they operate, more or less, like a great herd of cattle. They are very proud of the police corp., the military and any type of governing body. That is nearly unheard of now, in USA. It is a sort of naiveté about the rest of the world though, because the media in China is suppressed, meaning that the actual philosophies of other countries are unknown. The Chinese people are being brain-washed against any other view of government. There TV's have many stations, but when one clicks through the channels, the primary pictures seem to be of the military on display. They have some respect USA, but detest the English and the Japanese.

Day 5

Today is shopping day! My son told us that that Shanghai is the "fake-est' city on earth! Although we are still in Hangzhou, I am anxious to buy some of those fakes today. He is so knowledgeable about China, he could be a tour guide. He has done his homework, that is for sure.

We took off this morning, aftereating a terribly weird breakfast. I recognized the fried egg, but all the other stuff, was just"really, really, weird!" My son was very bouncy today! His new little wife didn't sleep well, because she couldn't unwind from the very long day yesterday. I thought it would be shopping today, but he overruled me with great reason. Seems that Hangzhou houses one of the biggest Buddhist temples in the world. We went to a pagoda first, and saw some beautiful wood carvings all along the walls inside the pagoda. The wood carvings were a story that was stretched around all the walls of the pagoda on one of the top floors. It was of a love story, a myth actually, of a snake that was turned into a woman, and then imprisoned, for centuries in the pagoda. I guess someone came and freed her after the old pagoda collapsed. The old one was from the 1500's and the archaeological parts which remained,were preserved and a new pagoda was built on top of it. It was fascinating stuff. The myth said that the snake-lady was saved because the old pagoda collapsed, and then freed. Although it was really a tall myth, the wood carvings were just beautiful! They were so delicate and precisely carved over a period of years. Her uncle, who was driving us around, took us around the beautiful Westlake, where you can see the huge pagoda, up on the mountain. Although we took an elevator up a ways, we also walked many flights of stairs until we reached the top.

That trip was actually enough for one day, but my son wanted to take us to the huge Buddhist temple of Hangzhou.

But never mind, we went on to the huge Buddhist temple and it feels very foreign to a Christian. Lingyin Temple is the oldest Buddhist temple in the city. An Indian Monk called Huili was so impressed by Hangzhou's beauty that he believed this was gods' residence. And so, he named it "The place where gods rest in seclusion" or Lingyin. I certainly must put 'god' in a small letter here, because those god's were not only false god's, but there thousands of them. First, there was the biggest fattest Buddha ever, sitting there that I had ever seen. The temple is filled with incredibly horrible statues and monuments of Buddha- laughing, standing and sitting, adapting a warrior stance, all posing differently. Slightly behind the temples in the woods is a huge collection of stone carved Buddha's who sit in the niches of the cliffs. The most ugly of these is a huge, fat "laughing Buddha".

What made me the saddest, was to actually see people pray to that strange god; one that was made of wood, or stone, or whatever, and think that it would answer their prayers. While I was saddened to think that they were so deceived, it must be noted that those that were praying to the false gods' were not actually 'worshipping' the gods, but were asking for things for themselves. They took flowers, and fruits, but the main thrust of their bowing and praying to the gods was to ask favors for themselves. We consider worship as extolling praises to our God in Heaven. Of course, we ask for things from God, but God did not ask us to bring flowers and oranges to him, in order to appease him. He wants us to bring ourselves to him and give ourselves over to Him.

It has really been a packed week over here. Train rides, hectic taxi rides, almost running over bicycles, and buses almost running us down, add to the mayhem. These drivers seem to have a built in radar! They stay very alert here, because the rules of the road are just not that strict, and they have to drive very defensively. It reminds me so much of South America, where you see bicycles, boys pulling carts, motorcycles, buses, taxis and people all over the roads. Weaving and winding their way through the traffic is just like driving through an obstacle course.

I am most sure that the picture I am giving of China is a personal view, however, it seems best that everyone take home their own personal perspective of a trip of a lifetime!