Musings from the Ozone

Mommy, mom, mother--I answer to all of these names.  I even answer unknown children who call for their mother in Walmart.  At least, I have done so.  It is amazing, the many nuances children can apply to the word 'mom' and it can cause people to think a multitude of thoughts when a child yells Mommy!  I have learned that there are many tones of voice a new mother must learn, once her child is old enough to say ma-ma. Oh yes, ma-ma was another name given to me. What happened to my real name, Jenny? 

 My husband rarely used my name after we first got married.  For the first 3 years of marriage and before the children were born, I was 'darling,' 'sweetheart' and 'honey.'   I digress. 

After the children were born, I had to learn to differenciate between the cries of 'mommy.' Their calls could come in that scary, piercing call of 'mommy!,' which could mean that either they were drowning or getting kidnapped.  Usually, they were just needing a cookie.  There were calls for me at times that would be confusing and baffling.  I was used to their many different cries, until after the number 3 child arrived.  This child would have a very different type of call, because she did a twist on me...she was a girl, rather than a boy!  Two boys had taught me all the  kiddie calls and real cries, or so I thought.  My first daughter had a lilting, softer voice and her call, generally, was really a call for help.  I had to get adjusted all over again. Oh yes, and her little cries really did mix tears with it.  With a girl, I had to expect buckets of tears when she yelled and screamed for 'mommy.'

I always called my mother, 'mother.'  There was just something about the term 'mommy,' that did not appeal to my 12 year old, all grown up self.  I needed to feel older and somehow the term 'mommy' was beneath my dignity of a pre-teen.  So, from about 12 years and up,I always called her mother.  She did not like the term 'mom'  anyway. I always wondered about that, and eventually I called my mother-in-law 'mom. '  I didn't see anything really wrong with the term mom,and there are millions of people that call their mothers, mom, who likewise, see nothing wrong with that terminology.  Later, I realized, my own mother, who really preferred the 'mother' or mommy term, called her own mother, 'mom.'  My own children call me 'mom' most of the time, and it feels weird to sign our cards, Mom and Dad since that.was reserved for my inlaws.   With my mother, one of the worst things I could do is get a mother's day card that read; "To Mom."  I have a couple of mother's day cards, accidentally purchased by my husband, which read; "To Mom." My poor husband didn't realize how persnickety my mother was.  She just didn't want us to call her 'mom!' 

I think one comes to a place in life where one doesn't seem to know their name anymore, or at least, they may not recognize it when the husband or wife calls it.  I do know my name, but if my husband calls me by my first name, it is something comparable to me calling him "Pastor Teets."  He sits up and takes notice.  In fact, when I call him that at church, I most likely will get the same treatment as do the members of the assembly!  It is fun to shake the man up now and then. But, as much as I would rather my husband call me Jenny, or an endearing name, such as sweetheart, I am not sure when he stopped doing that.  I distinctly remember telling him that I was NOT his mom. Somewhere after the first child was born, and the last child left the home, he just started calling me 'mom' and has never stopped. I  have to admit that I call him 'dad' almost as often as he callls me 'mom.'

I would stop this silly saga right now, except that I have one last tidbit about my title of 'mom.' Our last daughter. who is very individualistic in her thinking, threw me a real curve.  At first, it was hilarious, then it was just a funny quirk my daughter had adopted.   One day, I began to wonder  "what was happening to our relationship?"  She began, jokingly, calling me by my first name!  Jenny!......well, like I said, it was funny.  Now, some 20 years later, I am feeling that this individual saw herself as an individual very early in life.  I felt that the first 3 children were part of my body, like my arms or my legs.  This daughter  was born to us (in what I thought was our old age) when I was 36 years old.  I was always old to her.  She went away to a Christian school at the tender age of 14, and it felt as if I had never been 'mommy' long enough to her.  It is a strange feeling to have a child act like she's an adult early in life!  Her brothers were 13 and 14 when she was born, and her sister was 9 years old.  My'baby was mixed-up for a while, calling her sister 'mommy.'  She also called our maid in Uruguay, 'mommy' at times.  To be called by my first name by a daughter, was very unique!  I guess I will settle now with being called 'mom' by my husband, and 'ma' by the people in the church.  With my baby daughter, well, at least, someone knows my real name!