Musings from the Ozone

Gratefully, we are finally settled in our new home and into our new ‘retirement’ age!  I was asked yesterday, by a friend, if we missed being in leadership?  Well, I have been involved in church work for most of my life!  My father was a pastor and he found lots of jobs for me at the church.  When I was just 15 years old, I played the piano in his church.  The church was running around 250 people at that time!  That was a big job!  Before that, I assisted a teacher in Sunday School class at 13 years old!  Being married to a minister for 50 years has been a non-stop proposition.  I can’t remember any time when we were not involved in church work!

Now, the question was, do I miss being in leadership, when the truth is,  I rarely did things in a leadership role.  I did start a lot of the church departments, because the church in New York, where we pastored for 27 years, was a baby church at first, and needed setting up.  However, as soon as a good director came along for any of those departments, such as Sunday School, the choir, the youth or the ladies department, I moved out of those positions quickly!  Support of others is something that successful pastor’s wives learn to do quickly! 

‘Moving around’ may imply that I like to change houses or locations, but that isn’t what I am trying to convey.  Those kinds of moves are not easy or recommended, just for the sake of it. I don’t actually like to move!  I am somewhat of a homebody and just recently I told my daughter that back in the days when we used to evangelize, I really had to work at getting used to it, as it wasn’t in my blood to travel so frequently.  I like to stay and get to know the location; scout around and find out what is available, etc.  New York was truly a place where one could never get tired of discovery, but even there I found myself at home most of the time! 

No, the ‘moving around’ that I am trying to explain is the ‘flexibility capacity’ a person must possess in order to feel ‘at home’ wherever  they find themselves.  Many times we can grow discontent with our surroundings, but if we examine the situation, we find we are wanting change in ourselves.  Many a pastor’s wife finds herself in places she would never have chosen to live.  It is ideal if the husband and wife together felt God’s call to go someplace.  It doesn’t always turn out that way, but it would solve a lot of problems if there was agreement in the beginning regarding the move.  When God calls a minister to go to a foreign field, he has to consider his wife’s feelings or he will be miserable should he get there, and find his wife flunks out.  I am thankful to say that my husband and I did agree on each move we have made.  Even this last move was carefully thought out.  We submitted our will to the Lord, and it all worked out for the best. 

We can find other ways of being involved in ministry without being in the ‘leadership!’  Speaking to people about God on a one to one basis is very satisfying.  Working with people of ethnic backgrounds comes easier to someone who has lived in NYC for years.  The ability to speak Spanish doesn’t go away as long as you continue to practice it. Look for openings in the work of the Lord!  They do not have to be ministries that are seen by all to be important.  A ministry of prayer or one of encouragement is powerful!

Another role as a grandparent, will become all-important when you get to retirement.  There was a time in my life when I didn’t know much about being ‘grandma.’  Sadly, both of my grandmothers had passed away when I was a baby, and I never knew the joy of having one.  My own mother was a loving one and the grandchildren all loved her very much.  Now, I am realizing the great importance and blessing it is to be in the lives of grandchildren.  Just knowing that a little group of young ones want to come and be with you, talk to you and share their little lives, opens up another big avenue of adventure in your life.

Last, but not least, is the new freedom of travel that is open to us after being tied down to a church for years.  When we pastored we could never could think of traveling without being concerned with our flock at home.  Who would fill in for preaching and the music?  Who would pray for the sick and oversee the church building?  Of course, after a church grows older, many of these type of worries are fewer, but we were always careful to know what was going on back home.  I almost feel guilty now at times, forgetting that this load has been lifted and I don’t have to think about!  It is something that you just carry for so long you forget to quit worrying or thinking about it!  But now, we can travel and stay for a decent time, truly enjoying the visit without worrying about getting back to a heavy responsibility!

Maybe the question of what do I miss about leadership isn’t a valid question?  I don’t miss any of the old responsibilities, however I do miss our friends!  My husband and I are thankful for all the wonderful people, places and experiences we had in New York!  They will stay in our hearts and minds forever!