Musings from the Ozone

The problem was with the phone at the church.  I would lay all the problem on the phone company, but that is too sweeping of an accusation.  Actually, they are only 99.99% of the problem and the other .01% is ours.  The reason for that last tiny percentage point being our fault, is that we allowed the phone company to install a phone in our church building in the first place; a logical step to take, but the rest of the problem started with the installation.  Given the obvious fact that New York City is a tremendously gargantuan city, one cannot begin to appreciate the amount of red tape that seems to be involved in every installation, every contract, every sales pitch, every sales offer, every contractor, every technician and even every detail of every  transaction.  I lay that to the charge of why I get so tired sometimes.

In fact, I even get tired thinking of the pathetic process of our poor phone service through the years.  But, maybe if I write my pathos down,  I may feel some quality of disgust subside a bit.

Here is a synopsis of how the  crazy condition developed.  First of all, there was one phone line in the church 20 years ago.  The one phone line did have an extension phone in the basement and that was the first problem that seemed to annoy our church members.   When someone was on the phone in the main office, people, kids or anyone could easily pick up the extension phone and listen in.  That did happen.  Mostly, it was kids or deranged adults that did that.  It should be stated that this was way before the days of cell phones, and the necessity of having a phone in the church was of paramount significance.  Land phones were all that were available..

The one phone upstairs was in the church office and it drove workers crazy to run to the back office and answer the phone while they were trying to clean the sanctuary.   Still, it was the best we could do in those years.  Enter, the salesman with a big pitch.  Wouldn't the church like to have an extra line for the church so we could have a fax line, and wouldn't it be handy to have the pastor's phone line be separated from the rest of the calls coming in?  So far, it sounded just great.  Oh, yes, and the new phone lines should entail buying new phones with buttons for the line one,  line two and hold.  Great.  There was one flaw (flaw?) or fly in the ointment.  The church people were not 'techies' and they did not notice that the phone company had not changed the  old, decrepit box outside the building for the incoming lines.  In fact, the hook up was so long and convoluted, that the wires were stretched under the heat registers and eventually connected with a little  2 line adapter into the original box.  With the new phones installed, they also hid the real fact of the matter, which was that the phone cords became unplugged from the adaptor at  times, and a phone would be temporarily 'out of service' until some knowing person saw the reason and attached the line back into the adapter.   No harm done.  No, not unless, the two lines got crossed, which would of course happen, if they were not placed back  into the correct socket. 

How much frustration could we stand until we could reach a phone repairman and complain about the crazy setup?  A lot, I guess, because, even though most of the efficient workers in the church had complained loudly to the phone company, nothing would get worked out, so it literally went on like that for years.  They must have been thinking that at least we had a phone?  They would have to get back to us in about 100 years. 

The arrival of the portable phone made communication somewhat easier for the phone situation.  One phone base and portable phones where ever the need was the greatest,  took a decided turn for the better.  Still the old problem of the connection box would rear its head from time to time the phone was especially vulnerable to those that would move things around in the office.   As long as no one bothered with the set up,  it would be forgotten.  Alas, the squeaky wheel cliché was still also forgotten as long as nothing upset the status quo.

If the portable phone made such a wonderful difference, one could only imagine how hugely important it would be to have the computers hooked up to the Internet and have our own networking system in the church.   We called the phone company to start a new contract with their internet services, and they promptly came out and installed the DSL line.  Now, unfortunately, here is where the real crisis began to rear its ugly head.  Not being a technophile of the phone company, nor having the proper 'jargon' for what problem had developed, I can only tell you of the terrible symptoms of a wrong hook-up.  One day, without reason, the Internet konked out.  We called a technician, and they worked for a few hours over the phone with one of the men in the church and restored the Internet service.   The next step was a logical step for us; we wanted to get our offices networked, so we could all use the network printer.   Our 'techie' in the church set it up and things worked fine.  ……for about a week or so.  Who is busy playing with those church computers?   The computers were knocked off line again.  This scenario continued for quite a while.  Sad to say, one night during bible study, I got involved trying to fix the internet DSL line with a phone technician, and the call stretched on and on, even while church was going on.  I am positive that our church members either thought I had fainted in the office, got sick, or was just spiritually out of it.  I felt ashamed to admit that it was the Internet that I was trying to get put back in place.  At last, the DSL line was reconnected.  I felt relieved and happy about that, until everyone started noticing that the phones were now out of service. It became apparent that the little wicked box that had supported the two lines on an adaptor before, was just not up to the new task of keeping the Internet AND the phone service going at the same time!

I decided to try another tactic…..and I am happy to report that it worked well for us.  I called the phone company and told them to take out the DSL line, and take us back to just basic phone service.  Then I called a cable company and asked them to put in their Internet service for us.  They came out and installed a totally separate line for the Internet service and Presto! it all worked like magic!   The phone is working wonderfully by itself, even though it is still on the archaic phone wires, and the internet service  is working beautifully also, on it's new pristine cable.  If one service should go down, at least it won't plague the other service as it did in the past.  Why do we have to have these interminable technical problems!  My parents had a phone service for more than 30  years without a hitch, or without even changing their phone number!  I do miss the good ole days sometimes!