Musings from the Ozone

I know, it is a strange title, but  I really am talking about me, myself and I!   Does it still sound strange?  Well, we have several different people attached to our lives, and whenever we try to describe ourself to someone, we realize it isn't as simple as that.  The older we get, the more we encounter many more 'me's' in our lives. I will try to explain myself......

My son bought me a small photo scanner, and since I always wanted to scan my many picture albums into my computer,  I have been looking at so many pictures, and reminiscing on the many different years in my life.  I looked so young and vibrant holding that new baby boy!  Another picture shows me laughing it up with friends in a church where we pastored more than 30 years ago.  Never mind, where did all the years go;  where did that personality go?  Where is that personality which pushed me to my physical limits,  raising 4 children with my ever so young looking husband?  

I found myself feeling 'triste' as they say in Spanish, or sad, as I looked through our missionary days in Uruguay, SA.  Signing up on  Facebook social networking,  was originally a project 'just for my amusement," but then I begin to hear from the many friends we left in South America years ago!   The thrill of finding out what happened to all of them, and many of my missionary companions of so many years past, has proved to be very exciting!  When they saw the pictures I had posted on my Facebook photo albums, pictures from 30 years ago in Uruguay, they were ecstatic!   I had a deeper question, however;  who was the 'me' then?  What happened to the me that I had identified as a missionary those many years ago?  When I begin to reminisce, or hear from folks in my past, I have to realize that there are some people who know me by that 'me,' the me I used to be! 

One  picture was of  a Chilean lady who left Chile during the war and moved to Montevideo.  She was so pleasant, and had befriended me when we all arrived in Uruguay, at about the same time.  In this picture, she was holding her little son, born to her in Uruguay.  She was an older woman, with two teenage daughters, and had always wished for a son.  Now this little boy has grown up and has a son of his own!  Imagine my amazement when I got a friend request from him!  I could not recognize him by his picture as an adult, but when I realized he was from Uruguay, we became acquainted.  He was so happy to know us, even if only by the Internet, since his parents and family had talked so much of the missionaries that we were 30 years ago!  His parents had moved back to Chile after we left, so we had lost contact with their family.  I am not the same 'Gringo," as I was then.  I can still speak and write in Spanish, as did the 'old me,' but it is with a stilted hand now, that I write in Spanish.  It is hard to believe that I was very fluent in Spanish 30 years ago!

Moving on, or should I say, looking back at even an earlier stage in my life, I pondered over a comment on one of the pictures I posted. The comment was about a family picture we had taken at a time when we left the pastorate of a small church in Michigan.  The lady wrote:  "this is the way  I remember you and your family!"  Wow.  There is just no way I would fit into that personality today, let alone the dress.  You see, we have to move on; we have to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually!  I hope with the emotional and spiritual growth, I am a new and better person who has emerged from each of the chapters of my life! 

A while back, I had a discussion with a friend about how a person evolves, and I believe that they can change radically.  This friend felt that whatever you possessed, personality wise, it would be still a part of you throughout life.  I understand that.  However, I feel that a person can change in so many ways, that they may be almost unrecognizable.  These changes can warp or enhance a character.  If we continue to work on ourselves, and improve ourselves, we can certainly be much more enjoyable and loveable at 40 than we were at 15 years of age.  It can be said that if the opposite of good behavior, such as taking up a vice like drugs, drinking, or smoking, etc., could turn a person into a sickly and bitter character; one who would make miserable company for themselves and others.  We must choose whether to continue the work that is required to grow spiritually, emotionally and mentally.

Age is inevitable, but a person who stays at a certain age, mentally, emotionally and spiritually; a person who does not mature in the Lord or in wisdom, can never experience the true joy of being the many 'me's' of life.  It can be totally exciting going through each passage of life, but only if you learn and grow from your manifold experiences.